The phone call i thought i'd never get. ever.

phone rings at 9:30 in the morning. Unknown number.
i was hesitant to pick up but curious as to who was calling.
i answered:

Me: Hello?
Caller: Good morning, this is Robert Miller, P.I.
Me: P.I.? As in Private Investigator? Are you kidding me?
*checked the number again. it had a different area code*
Caller: Yes, sir. and no, this isn't a prank call. Is this *says thespitsmaster's real name*
Me: Unfortunately, yes. what is this about?
Caller: Hello there, how are you today?
Me: Let's cut the bullshit, please. You didn't call for small talk. What is this about?
Caller: I'm calling in behalf of your father. I was hired to look for you.
Me: I'm sorry, but did you say "my father"?!
Caller: Yes, Mr. *insert father's name here*
Me: you're shitting me, right?
Caller: No sir. Your father is...
Me: *hangs up*

I wished that the next sentence was "Darth Vader". That would make the conversation much more interesting and much more awesome. But sadly, it wasn't.

Someone pinch, slap or kick me. Please tell me this is a fucking dream. It feels more like a nightmare. Much, much more.