Thursday, December 21, 2006

Happy birthday to me...okay then what?

Yes ladies and gentlemen, yesterday (but I'm sure that by the time this hits my multiply account, it would be two 0r three days before) was that wonderful time of the year again, well, for me anyways. Nope, it's not christmas but close. And it's not Valentine's day either. It's that time of the year when one gets old. When another number is added to your age. When your age slowly starts to leave the pages of the calender, and before you know it, it's totally gone. My Birthday. The day my mother pushed me out into this world. A cousin of mine told me, "Kuya, ang tanda mo na!" To which I replied, "Anong matanda? Uy, twen-teen-*censored* lang ako ha!". Well, it's just a two-digit number. And in my opinion, numbers don't tell and make you old, PEOPLE tell you and make you feel old. And besides, it doesn't show on my face (this is my blog, deal with it). I just censored the last number for my own safety. *sipol*

I couldn't remember much of how I celebrated my day when I was a young brat. All I could remember was my uncle would throw me a kid's party, complete with hotdogs and marshmallows on sticks and clowns. And during those times, my party would have one thing in common. Nope, not the hotdog or the clowns, but my uncle filming every moment of it. After he edits it, the footage gets shipped off to the US to my mom. He'd always say, "Well, she paid for all of this anyways". :D

During my HS years, I've celebrated my day at home. Living in the province, you don't really have anywhere else to go. I'd have my auntie whip up about 3-4 dishes and I'd invite all the people I know, from my HS buddies down to the "tambay sa kanto". Of course, my relative won't miss out on the celebration. And we all know that when there's a celebration, the booze is just around the corner, peeping at the clock to see if it's time to jump out and shout, "Tama na yan, Inuman na!!!" But during those times, we were "fans" of Tanduay, Gilbey's and of course, Lambanog, flavored or not. Beer would come after, if we were still up and not puking all over the place. High School was and is definitely the greatest time of all.

But when it came time to leave the home-cooked foods, the Lambanog, pukes and going off to college, celebrating my birthday was done in of different way, the metro way. My first celebration was in a bar that is now closed (damn, well thanks for the memories) in Makati. This was the first time I celebrated in a bar and was definitely not the last. Every year after that, we would try out different bars. And the most unforgetable was the one in Libis. We went bar hopping. Plus the gang had soooo many bloopers that we were laughing our heads off that night. One of it was when one of my buddies felt asleep on the toilet bowl of the men's room while calling for a crow (in tagalog: nagtatawag ng uwak.) If you were once upon a time in that kind of situation, you'll be able to figure out why I called it as such. ;)

After we graduated from calling crows and bar hopping, I also graduated from celebrating via the metro way. But one never graduates from drinking. Nope. Can't leave it and can't live without it, unless you had a liver disease and you're force to graduate from it. I'd still drink with friends but not that much. The celebration focused more on my relative and love one. Instead of cooking at home, I'd have them come to the metro and the fam would eat out. After that they'd go malling while me and my girl would watch a flick.Yesterday, same thing, the fam went out to the metro, had lunch and malling. But this time we watched "The Wonderful World of Dolphins and Sea Lions" near the Mall of Asia. It was great. My little cousin enjoyed soooo much that she wanted another go at it. But of course we didn't. We'll just be seeing the same tricks all over again, well, in my opinion anyways. And no drinking this time.

IMHO, what really makes a persons birthday is not how he/she celebrates his/her day but it's who you celebrate it with, who remembers you, and greets you. For me, that beats hotdogs on sticks, lambanog and calling for crows anytime. I was surpised to open my mail this A.M. There was a sudden blast from the not so distant past. I'll talk about it some other time. I was also blown away by the greetings I got from Highfiber. Even if it was late, it's the thought that counts. Thanks guys.

Wow. I didn't realize how long this post is already. Anyways, Happy birthday to you, handsome mofo. Oh alright. I'll drop the mofo part. :D



*note - this entry has been editted due to wrong use of word, you all know why. clue: starts with the letter D. *

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

I am fucked up Tuesday

*currently listening to Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit*
Its just one of those days
When you don't wanna wake up
Everything is fucked, Everybody sux
You don't really know why, but you want justify
Rippin' someone's head off
No human contact, And if you interact
Your life is on contract
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
It's just one of those days!!
No. This is not a parody of RJ Jimenez "Miss kita pag tuesday" song. That's how I feel today. Like everything is just so fucked up. SSDD. Same Shit, Different Day. Has any of you ever had that kind of day where you feel that the whole damn world just hates you and that the earth would suddenly eat you up?
If you have, then MAYBE you know how I feel. It's that heavy feeling again folks. Like something bad is going to or has already happenned. Like something has changed between you and a friend and you have no idea why. Or you do have an idea, but you're just not quite sure if it's the right idea or not. But you feel that something has changed. Maybe something has. Fuck.
I just hate myself right now. I just do. Why? I don't know. I just do.
I am fucked up. I know someone willl probably say that I'm paranoid or I'm losing it. FYI, I already lost it.
A friend once told me that every problem has a solution. If there not solution, there's no problem. But what if there is a problem and there is a solution, you just don't know what the problem is? How can you know what the solution is?
Did that make any sense at all? If you know the answer to that, let me know.
Maybe a smoke is a "solution" to this "problem". But another "problem" is I quit smoking.
Damn! I am fucked. maybe sleepping on it will help. Or not. Fuck. I'm screwed.